Username Misnomers

"She's automatic, so automatic"- Rancid

I couldn't post anything for the last three weeks because I was locked out of my blogger account. It appeared as though I was trying to log in under a different name, the name Gina Rowbald, to be exact. I'd like to meet her some day as I feel close to her now that I was ceaselessly attempting to beat down her digital door and log in to her account through her username but kept getting the password wrong because before I went and reset my web browser history for some unfounded reason the password and usernames were digitally stored and automatically inserted. I feel I perhaps owe her an apology for the harm I may have caused attempting to impersonate her and post my rantings on her webpages as though they were her own. I wonder if I was to advocate child labour or for higher taxes for the rich she would have sicced the internet dogs after me and had me hung for identity theft - that's of course if I were to have miraculously hacked in. But as most of us born sometime after the turn of the twentieth century and who have ever used a computing device well know, the likelihood of Google granting me leave to enter an account they are not 139% sure is mine without previously providing them a urine sample or the phone numbers for me and my five closest next of kin for verification is as likely as getting one of those distorted CAPTCHA texts asking you to prove you're not a robot right on the first go.

The point is I had simply forgotten what my cursed USERNAME was because well, let's face it, I have twenty-seven of the goddamned things and can't possibly keep track of them all when I set up accounts months/years ago and have had the computer remember them for me ever since until one day those blasted boxes come up empty and stare back at you as though you should have the information to fill them constantly streaming throughout your brain waves and if you don't you have gone seriously wrong somewhere in life and should really just start over with a new (user)name and identity because the old one is long forgotten by- perhaps- more than just you.